Rebecca Boedges, MA, MS, LCMHC
My grief has changed me as a person and therapist. I don't know your suffering but I know suffering. I don't know the way out of your pain but I know there is a way out. I don't know what the next moment holds for any of us but I do know it can be meaningful.I also know that when we can really listen to our whole emotional, physical, spiritual body that we can find peace. I see my role as a therapist as the guide to helping you discover your own internal map and compass through your own journey to increased joy and peace.
About ten years ago my husband and I began to start a family. In happy hopes after quickly getting pregnant we were almost as quickly disappointed with multiple early losses. Little did we know at the time that we were beginning a journey wrought with loss and suffering.
After a year we were pregnant again and we excited that the third time was the charm. The first trimester went smoothly and then in to the second. There were some tests during the second trimester that indicated that there may be issues but everything seemed fine. Then one day in late fall, I was walking in the woods and I knew something was wrong. I had stopped feeling movement and thought that maybe I was being paranoid. I made an appointment and went in for a "feel good" check up and we received the most earth shattering news - at 33 weeks our baby girl had died in utero. She was stillborn in 2010. I was not prepared that starting a family with all of the dreams and excitement meant also opening my heart up to the most profound loss and pain one might bear on this earth...the loss of a child.
At times I told myself that I did not have to do anything but breathe, and at times could not tolerate that the only way through the experience was through the pain. The pain was lonely, no one could do it for me even with tons and tons of family, friends, and community support. Grief is lonely, hard work but I am here to say that it is possible. Sometimes I just danced, or cried, or hid in my covers. Sometimes I could hang out and other times I couldn't. Sometimes I could be around kids, sometimes I couldn't. I never really knew when I was going to be able to "function" and when I wasn't but through Nia, therapy, friends, and time it has all shifted.
It is possible to survive the worst experiences and still experience moments of joy in the rest of our lives. My husband and I now have two healthy daughters that were born after our first, I think I hold them a little more tightly than most.
My Story of Trauma, Loss, and Grief
I have a Master's degree in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, a Master's Degree in Mental Health Counseling, training in body-based psychotherapy with an emphasis in trauma providing counseling services for over 8 years in private practice. I have been teaching Nia, a mindful fitness practice, for over ten years. I have worked in crisis, college counseling centers, as well as private practice. All of these experiences influence my approach in developing relationships with clients and helping clients achieve their goals.